How do we respond? Do we pray or do we prey?
Webster’s defines grey as a color between black and white, being dark and dismal or gloomy. The two spellings of gray and grey are interchangeable.
Have you ever heard someone say it is a little lie, no one will ever know, or it’s not really sinning? Revelations 3:15-16 (KLV) says “I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”
In our times of grief and maladies do we fall upon our knees and pray, or do we prey, plotting revenge that is not ours? When our adversary crosses our path do we take time to seek out God’s direction and goodness as we cross through the valley of despair. King David was a servant of God, who always sought out God’s favor in his times of despair.
In my own life as tragedy and despair unfolded; my own faith and trust in God was called into question. As I lay awake thinking of ways to take revenge, to hurt the one who hurt me—thrashing about as my mind filled with anger—it was then I felt the voice of God speaking to me, saying “vengeance is mine.”
“For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.” Hebrews 10:30 (KJV)
Suddenly I was overwhelmed with sadness and guilt—this isn’t who I am. There during the night I prayed for God’s forgiveness. I began to weep, how sad that I had allowed Satan to destroy my peace. So, there in my prayer closet, I prayed and wept as God reminded me that He too had a Son who was falsely persecuted.
This was not the end of my sorrow. I found myself sobbing at moments each evening as I lay alone speaking to God, asking for His guidance. He reminded me of my prayers of many years ago when He spoke so kindly to remind me that He has never left me alone in times of sorrow. He has opened my eyes to many profound ways in which He will grow my spiritual understanding if I fully surrender my whole self. The devil will come like a thief in the night to steal our joy if we allow things to be “grey,” between black and white. This journey has brought me to a better understanding. I can praise God and still stand with my son in the valley in which we are travelling, for the psalmist said,
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 (KJV)
So, in our life we cannot be “grey” or “gray,” we must either be a Christian or not. There is no “in between.” As we stand before our maker, He will judge us on our life lived for Him not whether we were good by our standards.
“Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised.)” Hebrews 10:22-23 (KJV)
Cynthia Beckwith March 6, 2024
